Friday, March 18, 2005

Mom, Dad, May I Please Think For Myself?

This is my first piece of work for Ihsan and I honestly hope it's some good.

Just now, I had a 'civilized disagreement' with my mother, who wants me to take up some sort of art course for my two week break from school. While I have nothing against artistic endeavours and while I think it would be great if I did something productive in these fifteen days, arts is not my field. Painting, drawing, making flowers out of clay, etc etc, these are great talents but they're not the way I channel my creativity. I like writing more.

But she wanted me to do it and when I suggested that I take a course which I really find interesting myself and which can actually help polish whatever little skill I do have, she put on a disappointed expression and turned away.

Okay, I'm sorry, but I don't like those things. I know you do, which is why you still make flowers out of beads and wire and it's gorgeous but it's just not what I like to do. Why is it such a big deal if I choose what activity to pursue?

Taking this onto a larger scale, often my dad and my elder sisters like to gang up on me and tell me that my more progressive values regarding women's liberation and homosexuality are very wrong. They won't discuss it with me so that I can try to see what they're trying to say. They just say I'm wrong. On the rare discussions that do take place, they end up with, 'You're just a kid and you don't know anything'. Well, thank you very much but since you've given me a good upbringing and embedded your fine moral values and clear ideas of right and wrong into my mind, will you now please trust me to use that morality and those principles and make my own choices?

I'm trying to be the good little girl who does whatever her parents say and yet be true to myself. The way they act sometimes, I feel like they won't let me be the latter in peace. So in retaliation, I won't be the former.

Sigh. Does anyone see us going around in circles? Because I'm getting dizzy.

5 comment(s):

  • Marina-- I hear you. I often feel the same way in various circles, both progressive and conservative.

    By Blogger Leila M., at 3/18/2005 10:49:00 PM  

  • by the way, I love art. But then again, I also love writing ;)

    By Blogger Leila M., at 3/18/2005 10:50:00 PM  

  • I love SEEING art! I can appreciate good work too. And that's about as far as it goes :D
    Glad to know you agree with me though :)

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3/19/2005 05:12:00 AM  

  • Marina, glad to see your first post on Ihsan. Would you mind sharing how old you are? I think you'll Inshallah inject some good insights coming from a younger perspective into our Ihsan community. Your progressive views on women's liberation and homosexuality seem like they get you into some trouble with family and society. Can you share what exactly is your context, i.e. in what part of the world do you live? Perhaps you can write a separate post on how folks have reacted to these views of yours. We all look forward to seeing more of those sharp writing skills of yours on Ihsan!

    By Blogger Abu Dharr, at 3/19/2005 09:04:00 AM  

  • thank you, Junaid! :D
    and yeah, inshallah, my next post will be coming up soon :D

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3/20/2005 01:02:00 AM  

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