"Two years ago, my sister Patsy e-mailed me in distress because she couldn't locate a customer service number for Amazon.com. With a little sleuthing, I was able to discover that the number is 1-800-201-7575. To this day, publishing Amazon.com's customer service number (not once, but twice; I'll probably do it again when the Christmas shopping season rolls around) is my most profound contribution to the commonweal. When I die, I expect my tombstone to read: "He published Amazon's customer service number. Those bastards tried to keep it a secret, but he found it, bless him, and he splashed it all over the Web."