Ihsan

Hud - Love

by guest blogger Ummiskander

Yesterday, the 7th of July was not a good day for me. Firstly I received a court summons through the post relating to a minor shunt in a car park bewteen my car and another. The other driver can smell a potential cheque in the post. There was no damage to either car but then some people wont let little things like that stand in the way of money.

Then I rang a friend who told me.

The irony at this point was that I was wearing a big T shirt with arabic caligraphy on the front. It says Hud, or 'love'.

I switched on the TV and let the events sink in.

I remember being on the tube shortly after september 11th with my young son and it dawning on me how vulnerable we were. A bomb on a tube train would be in escapable, no where to run. Some people say you are shahid if you die like this. But this was not the way I wanted to die, I didn't want my son to die in terror. Shahid. No. People dieing terrified alone, crying out, in terrible pain, calling for their mothers, flalling about on the ground, clinging to life. Not very glorious.

But we didn't die. Others did, as it happened, as we all thought it would, eventually. All muslims in the UK have watched and waited and most of us, I believe prayed and worked so that it wouldn't happen.

Sitting in front of the TV in my 'Hud' T shirt, I cried. I cried for the people who have been murdered, for the many families and indiviuals who's lives will have been destroyed.

I cried for all the muslims who will now be attacked and maimed in retaliation, for all the hard work that has now been undone. And worst of all, that this will be further excuse for the injustices against muslims to continue.

I cried for myself and my son; would we be safe, would we be attacked?

I rang my friend Basma. 'Maybe I should take my hijab off', she said. 'I have my 'Hud' T shirt on', I laughed, 'should I take it off?'

No the Hud T shirt stays on. At this point it feels like it's all I have to work with.

ummiskander

posted by redwood at 7/09/2005 01:58:00 AM