Friday, March 18, 2005

'Jinni to Lead Mixed-Species Prayer'

[TGP News] Yakoub Ghoora

Muslim Wake Up, the controversial progressive Muslim website that recently announced its intention to host a mixed-gender congregational prayer led by Amina Wadud, has said it now intends to host a Friday Jumma led by Suleiman Mostashifa, Associate Professor of Islamic Studies at Death Valley University. Mostashifa is a Jinni who has recently been liaising with Tarek Fateh of the Progressive Muslim Union of North America, on an interspecies project to analyse the asbab al-wurud (the historical circumstances) of hadith.

"We're expecting trouble again!" Ahmed Nassef, the director of Muslim Wake Up, told TGP News, "And we will almost certainly have to change venue at the last minute. There's a serious risk members of our congregation will resort to violence against innocent demonstrators, especially if they are children wearing jilbab. But we are certain the event will be welcomed by 68% of American Muslims worldwide."

The mixed-species Jumma has already drawn criticisms from leading Muslim scholars, including the 92 year old Yusuf Markaz Barid, a graduate of Al-Azhar who has written extensively on the sex lives of Jinn.

"This is a devilish act of heresy likely to bring about the end of the world." Markaz Barid screeched at his home in Qatar, adding that Jinn were mostly, "devious magicians who lure men into salacious restaurants."

Professor Mostashifa, who is already a controversial figure after suggesting the Qur'an sanctioned American cultural imperialism, was more circumspect in his appraisal of the event. "I have been studying this problem for over twenty years, and I believe that this Jumma will be an important step forward for fanatics on both sides of the species divide."

21 comment(s):

  • Salaams

    I have to add a coda to this.

    I also post these spoof news stories out on a mailing list, which includes a remarkably broad spectrum of Muslim opinion. One story featured an interview with God, where God issued a fatwa against Yusuf al-Qaradawi!

    Despite being quite close to the bone, and despite some heated responses, no one has suggested I removed them from the list. Until today.

    And who was it? A close friend (though not a Muslim) of the folks at PMU/MWU. Dear oh dear!



    By Blogger Julaybib, at 3/18/2005 04:15:00 AM  

  • Haraam haraam bid'a bid'a! Next thing you know they'll have white converts leading the perfect and undefiled
    brown folks in salaat. Surely that's a sign of the end times.

    By Blogger blagdiblah, at 3/18/2005 04:51:00 AM  

  • "Professor Mostashifa, who is already a controversial figure after suggesting the Qur'an sanctioned American cultural imperialism, was more circumspect in his appraisal of the event."

    Hmmm another Rand bitch droppin' Islam like it's hot. Snoop Dogg would be proud.

    Now, don't be shocked when someone really proposes this (or wait, I bet they already have).

    By Blogger blagdiblah, at 3/18/2005 05:04:00 AM  

  • Salaams

    Oh, there is another first I should mention. Up until yesterday, in the 14 years since I took shahahda, no Muslim had ever made derogatory comments about my colour.

    Congratulations! It's another first for the 'progressives'.



    By Blogger Julaybib, at 3/18/2005 06:23:00 AM  

  • yakoub, were you actually asked to remove your post?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3/18/2005 07:03:00 AM  

  • Not here, no posts get removed here - esp. good ones :-)

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3/18/2005 07:28:00 AM  

  • Keep the stories coming *chuckles*

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3/18/2005 08:46:00 AM  

  • that's because part of your advantage at being a white muslim in England is that the brown Muslims take pride in you becoming one them. they look up to you in a way. It's called white priviledge. they think you are better than a muslim from say uganda.

    ironic isn't it?

    By Blogger crossfader72, at 3/18/2005 09:01:00 AM  

  • Oh - I'm headed to death valley later tonight for a week or so, inshallah. Maybe i'll get to meet this Jinni.


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3/18/2005 09:09:00 AM  

  • Salaams

    Just like the Mona comment, no doubt some will be thinking I oppose the mixed-gender prayer. Wrong!

    I think Wadud's extremely courageous stand could be great for Muslim women, especially in the USA. It could also prove to be extremely divisive.

    The latter issue seems not to matter to certain individuals and organisations. May I remind them of something Allah said:

    "And hold fast, all together, unto the bond with God, and do not draw apart from one another. And remember the. blessings which God has bestowed upon." 3:103

    But as a good prog, I'm for more than quotes, but for the spirit of it. And the Quranic value which I am reminded of on this issue is - balance!


    By Blogger Julaybib, at 3/18/2005 11:57:00 AM  

  • Salaams

    And for all you Muslims on here who are not from, or associated with, the beautiful Muslim communities of Britain (who make up 10% of our prison population), especially the Panjabi speaking lot from Mirpur, 'ghoora' is their slang word for white person.


    By Blogger Julaybib, at 3/18/2005 12:02:00 PM  

  • yakoub, curious as to why in leading into the quote you refer to God as "Allah" yet within the quote refer to God as God.

    what balance? if there is slavery in the community how do you balance that with no slavery? alternating days for slavery?

    By Blogger crossfader72, at 3/18/2005 12:49:00 PM  

  • LMAO. I had to read it three times to get the joke!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3/18/2005 02:28:00 PM  

  • hey guys. the grand mufti of egypt said it is okay for women to lead mixed prayer. so what do you say to that?

    By Blogger crossfader72, at 3/18/2005 05:04:00 PM  

  • AS Salaam u Alaikum,

    cross...i cant speak for Br. yakoub specifically, but the piece isnt really about opposing woman leading prayer...i think most here agree that it is acceptable....

    its the bigger context of things...and the (media) glorification of it...

    rab rakh,

    By Blogger malangbaba, at 3/18/2005 08:18:00 PM  

  • Salaam,

    Yakoub, in most dialects of urdu and punjabi, ghoRa (a hard R) is a horse... heehee

    Gora (soft R) is white man...

    i dunno if maybe mirpuris say it differently....


    By Blogger malangbaba, at 3/18/2005 08:21:00 PM  

  • Salaams

    Perhaps I could be Yakoub GhoRa Gora (white horse).

    Astaghfirullah, meyn Panjabi thori si bolta hun.



    By Blogger Julaybib, at 3/19/2005 01:04:00 AM  

  • Astaghfirullah, meyn Panjabi thori si bolta hun.



    its only a language bruh, no need for Astaghfirullahs....haaha

    By Blogger malangbaba, at 3/19/2005 08:16:00 AM  

  • I believe Abu Fatouchy is confused...

    By Blogger Leila M., at 3/19/2005 09:38:00 PM  

  • Ok...first of all, we CANNOT n SHOULDNT take Islam out of proportion. Ne one who believes in Allah n loves Him, will not go against Prophet MUhammad(pbuh). We are to follow his footsteps and he did NOT tell us that it is OK for men n women to pray together (ie. mixed and not segretated)

    What has this world come to? Recently we have had person like that Manji lady who firsty is a lez n secondly thinks Qur'an makes no sense. She tried her very best but failed to prove her point, but she proved one thing: she has whatsover no idea what she talkin abt. she should jus go back to her closet n stay there.

    NOW we have some one else who steps in to 'SAVE THE WORLD' by tryin to CHANGE islam. One advice: if u really wanna help urself n others, plz read Qur'an n hadiths PROPERLY N UNDERSTAND IT. What makes u think its ok to have mixed congretion prayers?????

    how does prayin segretated, show inequality towards any gender?? thas jus messed, next thing u know ppl will say its ok to have non muslims lead prayers. or that its ok to not pray at all.

    n naozobilah we'll hav a lot out there who will follow these wrong footsteps n forget the teachings of our Prophet (pbuh)



    By Blogger reeya, at 3/19/2005 09:50:00 PM  

  • Learn from the Quran and Hadiths? God revealed two books? I thought it was just the Quran?

    You dare put another book alongside the word of God? Hadiths? OMG!

    By Blogger crossfader72, at 3/20/2005 07:42:00 AM  

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